SOMETHING GAY

[ 1350. ]

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 14:32:04 GMT

more re: jack

Dave: having played another game of ringing round the entire hospital have discovered shortstuff is drifting in and out of conciousness but not particularly lucid. can't say i blame him after over 6 hours of surgery. he's still all tubed up in intensive care. stressing here that i am in no way an expert when it comes to medicine, the gist of the problem seemed to be that they had an issue with 'excessive bleeding' and having had some complication going about things the way they intended they then went and opened him up from somewhere else. exciting stuff. if nothing else, he might have some impressive scars. doesn't appear to be any particularly serious failure beyond this. will leave AIM running in the background again. increasingly bored without the wife to irritate.

Dave: slightly more awake today is seems, sat up for app. 15 mins before wanting to sleep some more. awake enough to say he doesn't want visitors, however. seems like I'm banned for the moment.

Dave: as far as I can tell yes he is recovering, and no he's not any more borked than he was to start with.

it sounds to me, and I am getting a little inventive here, like the actual complication was them having difficulty extracting it the way they planned which in turn caused them to nick something, start a lot of bleeding, etc etc which meant they had to open him up from the back (and please don't ask how, because I am already immensely confused myself about how that works) which is why I imagine it all took so long.

fun stuff. I remember they had difficulty shrinking it with chemo and they were a little reluctant at pre-op, so I imagine this is proving why. however, I am hoping he'll have decent enough scars to pass himself off as a shark attack survivor.

Dave: leaving aim express signed in again in the background

AIM: davidmmarchant -- do talk to him, I'm sure he's more stressed out than we are

[ 1349. ]

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:48:40 GMT

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever music player you have on random.
Step 2: Post a line/stanza from the first 20 10 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly

1. Rags to riches, or so they say / you gotta keep pushin' for the fortune and fame / you know it's all a gamble when it's just a game [Paradise City, Guns 'n' Roses, kuminohari]

2. Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends / she got a lot of pretty, pretty boys that she calls friends [Hotel California, The Eagles, peachymint]

3. I'm hanging on another day / just to see what you'll throw my way / I'm hanging on to the words you say / you said that I will be okay [Broken, Lifehouse, tsururu]

4. Fall, seize, I am merely debris / scattered along the ground / false rage, a man in a cage / an explosion without a sound

5. Make my dreams come true, baby / every time it seems to me that fiction and reality melt together for eternity

6. desperate deranged talking in my sleep again eyes twitch retain a sentimental something [Addiction, Skinny Puppy, fairyfey]

7. This ain't a song for the broken hearted / no silent prayer for the faith departed / and I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd, you're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud [It's My Life, Bon Jovi, peachymint]

8. Hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new land to fight the horde, sing and cry: Valhalla, I am coming! [Immigrant Song, Led Zeppelin, tsururu]

9. Refuse is our inspiration / terrorism is our trade / sabotage and piracy / chaos is our mental state

10. Aber wenn ich könnte wie ich wollte, würd' ich gar nichts wollen, ich weiß aber, daß alle etwas wollen sollen. [Müssen Nur Wollen, Wir sind Helden, first_quadrant]

[ 1348. ]

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:09:18 GMT

RE: Jack

Dave: still in surgery. 6 hours and counting is impressive, i'm hoping it's taking so long because he's having double d's fitted as an extra myself

Case: Is it supposed to take that long?

Case: He probably couldn't even stand up with those

Dave: in a word, no. was in 6 and a half hours in the end, and from what i can gather having been sent round the houses by various slightly vacant and extremely unhelpful members of the nursing staff he is currently in intensive care.

Case: any word on whether the surgery worked or not? assuming it did?

Dave: the general vibe I'm getting is that the surgery itself appears to have been a success, insofar as they removed what they were supposed to remove and not some random vital organ or body part. however, guessing something has screwed up along the way which they seem reluctant to go into -- possibly because they'd rather the doctor in charge explained, possibly because they'd rather we didn't sue. not quite sure which it is yet. the one thing i have been able to nail down is that he's had a pretty hefty transfusion, so i guess we can assume some unwanted bleeding was involved.

Case: any eta on when they actually tell you something useful ffffffffff

Dave: well if the operation was a success and he's alive i'd say thats fairly useful knowledge. however, taking your point, i will probably having a ring round again tomorrow to see if i can get anything more out of them. problem being i cant visit him while he's in intensive care and it may be that they're reluctant to go into everything over the phone. but hoping he'll be transferred out soon.

Dave: did forget, he's on a machine to help him breathe however fairly sure thats mostly because they had to deflate one of his lungs so it probably needs a little help getting back up speed

Case: I would express worry here but I'm not sure how exactly to do this over email and being 3000 miles away I'm doubting there's anything I could do to help

Case: Just tell him everybody misses him and stuff aehefyej

if you want to talk to dave, AIM: davidmmarchant

[ 1347. ]

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:36:54 GMT

If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to say them?

Submitted By whoismarion

View 1460 Answers

AFK FOREVER

[ 1346. ]

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:48:45 GMT

A question re: fictional villains:

Are there any that break your moral boundaries so badly that you don't understand how anyone could like them?

Are there any that are so bad that you DISLIKE other people for LIKING them?

If not, what would a fictional villain have to be like in order for you to do so? Would you ever?

[ 1345. ]

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:56:31 GMT

yeah yeah youve heard all this before

So there's this guy I used to know, who jumped off the GWB and died, a long time ago. For some reason for the past few weeks every time I drive past the bridge, I think about him and I DON'T KNOW WHY. I mean, think past the point of "oh lol that reminds me," think like -- reminiscing. But I didn't even really KNOW the guy. We talked for like a couple of weeks and then avoided each other for the rest of high school and pretended the other didn't exist so what the hell.

It's weird -- how I end up remembering the people who argue with me. Not like really argue-argue as in you end up hating each other, but arguing like -- talking theory and morals and values and fighting over beliefs and stuff. We had a table in the library and I'd go there during free periods and he'd be there doing homework or reading or something and I'd just go sit down and we'd ARGUE FOR AN HOUR and then leave. That's it, that's like -- the extent of our "friendship." We never talked outside of that one hour every couple of days.

He was the kinda guy that people were afraid of, but then again people were afraid of ME which I don't understand at all so that doesn't really say much, huh? Uh, like really stern and serious and set in his ways and driven and stuck up and scornful and -- he really hated the world. We used to argue about that too, him saying everybody was selfish and how genuinely good people didn't exist and me arguing the opposite. If I recall correctly he had some pretty fucked up views about gender roles and social roles and stuff about how humans should have gone back to their basic instincts and just gone all hunter/predator/animal on each other which was kind of fascinating because he was a pretty intelligent kid (I mean, we were like 16, who the hell seriously thinks about this stuff in HS) and he actually believed this shit.

I don't think he had any friends. Or he had just one, this other kid who was a total douchebag to everybody for no reason that anybody could figure out, who everybody hated. I never understood why he hung out with douchebag kid, maybe he had nowhere else to go. But then they seemed to like each other and like hating everybody else together so -- I don't know. He hated asian people (he was Korean) for being asian and black people for being black and white people for being white and gay people for being gay and all the rich kids in the school for taking everything for granted and I'm pretty sure he didn't have a father or his father had walked out on his family and it was him and his mother and a little sister -- but he didn't hate me. He'd actually talk and tell me things, which just -- kinda makes me feel worse.

I don't know why I think about him when I do. I want to go back and -- do something. It's not even a matter of preventing the suicide, it's just why didn't I get to know him better? How come we never hung out besides the arguing? Why'd I stop going to the library? I honestly don't remember why I stopped. And all of that stuff, WHY ME, I didn't even know him, I didn't even find out about his suicide except from a friend of a friend who heard it on facebook through his sister. So how come I keep thinking back and feeling like I missed some sort of chance, like some sort of fate-door was open for just a few weeks and I just -- didn't notice or something? How come when I think back I feel like it was a connection I lost and not just some acquaintance that hated everybody? How come I feel worse about him than if it had been someone random else that I'd actually been friendly with?

I wonder if there's an afterlife.

i just need to thoughtdump once in a while

eta: I remember the goddamned room, and it's been... four, five years since I set foot in there. I remember the carpet, and how the trees looked outside the windows, and the stupid tables with the stupid borders and gray tops, and the wooden chairs that hurt your ass if you sat in them too long. The chairs were too wide for me, and the tables too low, and you couldn't even lean back comfortably. I remember the bookcases and the computer lab to one side and the counter at the desk and the cubbies for backpacks near the door and the white painted faux bricks that made up the entryway. I remember the lights, I remember the racks of magazines separate from the books. I remember how they used to have romance novels in a separate little stack in one corner. I remember the cars outside in the front parking lot. I remember walking in and he'd be in there waiting and doing work or reading or something and I'd go in and sit and he'd keep glancing across at me like he wanted to start talking or arguing but he was waiting for me to start, so I'd put down what I was doing and start for him. I remember what he looked like -- sort of unusual, for an asian guy. He sort of had a square-ish head and these suspicious eyes and -- sort of like a mix between Kurogane from TRC and Zoro from OP, except real. Which was really weird. I remember what his voice sounded like. I remember he had this gray shirt he'd wear a lot, not exactly a t-shirt, had one of those weird round collars (that I look terrible in). I think I remember him laughing, I'm pretty sure I made him laugh once or twice. Why can't I remember what about?

Why is this one of my clearest memories? Of anything?

[ 1344. ]

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 02:17:09 GMT

DRAWME!

here's a pic of what i look like for reference

n_n

[ 1343. ]

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:11:56 GMT

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6515742/Mind-blowing-sex-American-woman-suffers-amnesia-after-intercourse.html

eXPLODING dinos
CAN BE
TRIGGERED BY
BOWEL MOVEMENTS
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
"HHHHHHHHNNNGGGGGGGGHHHHHhhh... what was my name again"
JacksApathy
YES HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

poop jokes are funny

[ 1342. ]

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:29:51 GMT

shyness is cute
blushing is cute

s-s-stammering through the internet is not cute
ending every sentence with a sweatdrop emoticon;;; is not cute
insecurity is not cute
being unable to make decisions is not cute

"i-idk you decide;;;;"

you are going to make me punt kittens. seriously, it's not fucking cute, it's annoying, especially when you're trying to get something fucking done. if you wanna do something fucking DO IT, or if you don't want to then FUCKING DROP IT so everybody doesn't have to WAIT AROUND FOR YOU TO MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND

in unrelated news, my dad just gave my greatuncle $100,000

[ 1341. ]

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:28:30 GMT

it wasn't a joke or fake or anything, but now I wonder.

"i just glanced over and went HEY THAT GUY IF I PUSHED HIM UP AGAINST THE WALL AND STARTED MAKING OUT WITH HIS NECK AND TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND MADE HIM CRY AND BEG AND oh the rest of the class can stay and watch to humiliate him more I BET HE'D MAKE SOME SEXY SOUNDS"

if that had been a girl in that scenario instead of a guy, how many of you would have been skeeved out instead of "LOL"?

[ 1340. ]

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:29:57 GMT

i had to work with nappily girl on a poem

we were like ok lets just start a random poem and just write down everything we say like a transcript

this is what we ended up with

Tia and Case's Excellent Adventure

Tia:
The winding, solitary road from the cranky classroom
was littered with leaves like crunchy cornflakes
soaked in milk and bathed in burnt lilac perfume.
The autumn-pink grass became mucus spewing snakes
as the ground opened its pointed carnivorous teeth
and breathed on our fresh-picked bones.

CASE:
IT WAS TOTALLY A HELLMOUTH OF MOUTHING HELLS
WITH LIKE FIRE AND FLAMES AND BRIMSTONE AND SHIT
AND WE WERE ALL OH FUCK
ITS A HELLMOUTH OF MOUTHING HELLS
AND PEED OUR PANTS
EXCEPT WE TOTALLY DIDNT
AND THE HELLMOUTH WAS ALL YO DUDES FALL IN ME
AND WE WERE LIKE OH SHIT
AND THEN WE DID
(FELL IN IT, NOT PEED)

Tia:
Our heroes turned their gazes upward and found themselves
in the darkest corner of the universe
smelling of decaying meat and burst souls like ripe honeydews.
From out of the darkness, a Vrykolakas stepped,
cat-like, a bloody concoction of festering death.
It cried, "Who dares enter my kingdom of burning human flesh?
I'll have your eye sockets for rings
and your flesh-flayed fingers for pencils.
State your business or else the worst will befall you!"

CASE:
AND SO WE WERE LIKE
DUDE WE JUST FELL IN A HELLMOUTH OK
AND THEN HE WAS LIKE SO OK SUP WHATCHA DOIN HERE
AND WE WERE LIKE WE DUNNO
AND HE WAS ALL DOOM AND FIRE AND DEATH AND STUFF
SO WE PUNCHED HIM IN THE BALLS
AND HE WAS ALL OW
AND THEN HE DIED
AND THEN WE RAN AWAY

Tia:
Out of the hellmouth our heroes climbed
feeling heavy of heart and light of head
from the fumes of the dreaded rotting Vrykolakas
still littering our soiled shoes.
The hellmouth closed its fiery gates from behind us
as the storm ash and hail and dust began to snow
skulls and bones and teeth and severed heads
followed by cords of bloody intestines spiraling out of the sky
bombarding our heroes and killing several passers-by.

CASE:
AND THEN THERE WERE SOME TERRORISTS
BECAUSE NO STORY IS GOOD WITHOUT TERRORISTS
OR ZOMBIES OR DINOSAURS
OK SO THEY WERE ZOMBIE DINOSAUR TERRORISTS
BUT ANYWAY THEY ARRIVED IN A HELICOPTER
AND WE WERE LIKE OH SHIT
AND THEY WERE FIRING EPIC AMOUNTS OF BULLETS EVERYWHERE
FROM THE RAIL GUN ATTACHED TO THE BOTTOM OF THE HELICOPTER
AND WE WERE ALL OH SHIT SQUARED
AND DIVED BEHIND SOME ROCKS BUT THEN
WE CLIMBED TO THE TOP OF SOME BUILDING AND
JUMPED OFF ONTO THE HELICOPTER
AND TOTALLY WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND
CAUSE THIS POEM NEEDED AN ACTION SEQUENCE ALREADY
GOD

Tia:
Crazy monkeys, not yet sober,
opened up the hatchet and came spilling out
with machetes and um umbrellas?
What on earth is going on here?
Isn't this supposed to be a horrifying poem
filled with terror of epic proportions?
Who's narrating here?

CASE:
AND THEN THE HELICOPTER EXPLODED
AND WE WERE ALL OH SHIT WE'RE DEAD
BUT THEN SUDDENLY IN A BLINDING FLASH OF LIGHT
APPEARED GEORGE WASHINGTON ON A UNICORN
AND HE WAS ALL TAKE MY HAND NOBLE HEROES
WE WILL RIDE TOGETHER TO SAFETY
AND WE WERE ALL OH SHIT ITS
GEORGE WASHINGTON!!!
BACK FROM THE GRAVE!!!
AND WE TOOK HIS HAND AND CLIMBED ATOP HIS STEED AND

Tia:
But what about the monkeys?
Don't they have a role?
Or are they just forgotten heroes?
Like the poor dead Vrykolakas?
Oh, wait he's supposed to be dead.

CASE:
AND THEN GEORGE WASHINGTON FOUND THE VRYKOLAKAS
AND STEPPED ON HIS HEAD AND WAS ALL
WHATEVER THIS IS AMERICA NOT GREECE!!!
AND THEN HE GAVE US GREASY CHEESEBURGERS
AND HAPPY MEALS AND WE WERE LIKE YAY AMERICA
AND WE RODE TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND

Tia:
Do I have no say here?
I started the poem
I should finish it!
Why are you stealing my show?

CASE:
YOUR SHOW WAS EMO ANYWAY
AND THEN WE MET LED ZEPPELIN AT THE WHITE HOUSE

Tia:
Wait Led Zeppelin?
Who wrote this?

CASE:
I DID

Tia:
I thought we were both writing it!

CASE:
WELL YOUR VERSION SUCKED

Tia:
What? That's it, I quit!

CASE:
FINE WELL ANYWAY
LED ZEPPELIN WAS

Tia:
Wait, hang on, I don't quit!
I started it, I want to finish it!

Our heroes arrived safely at the White House
holding their hands plastered to their greasy cheeseburgers
in the rustic autumn winter.
For defeating the Vrykolakas --

CASE:
BY PUNCHING HIM IN THE BALLS

Tia:
-- FOR DEFEATING THE VRYKOLAKAS,
and sending him back to the hell he came from
we award thee with a week in the rolling hills of Kastoria,
now a deserted town, a hole in the ground,
surrounded by the mountains of Greece.

CASE:
WHAT THE FUCK KINDA REWARD IS THAT
WE ALSO GOT A BILLION DOLLARS
AND OUR OWN UNDEAD MONKEY
AND OWNERSHIP OF THE LOST CIVILZATION OF ATLANTIS
AND AN ICE CREAM CONE

Tia:
with blood, not strawberry syrup

CASE:
AND WONDERED WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYBODY EAT THAT SHIT

Tia:
ANYWAY our heroes boarded the starship headed toward Greece
with anxiety written on their pale faces.
Undead monkey ... in hand, they sailed to the future
of won-ton smiles broiled in glue.

CASE:
AND THEY DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK
THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ANY MORE

Tia:
The black starship, dark as the pits of an inactive volcano's soul
gurgled and spit out garnets and emeralds covered in slime

CASE:
BECAUSE THE WARP DRIVE WAS BROKEN
AND WE WERE ALL SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
AND THEN WE GOT TELEPORTED TO 2012
AND THEN THE WORLD EXPLODED THE END

Tia:
No, that's not how it ended!
This is how it ended!
In an instant of time and space and dimension,
the spaceship

CASE:
EXPLODED

Tia:
NO, the starship sailed

CASE:
AND EXPLODED

Tia:
NO
THE STARSHIP SAILED INTO THE BLACK FUTURE

CASE:
WHERE IT EXPLODED

Tia:
NO
WHERE IT SAW A BLACK EARTH burnt to excellence
now a dreadful color, not a drop of color,
all humanity extinguished by the flames
as told in the Greek Bible

CASE:
AND THEN THE SHIP EXPLODED

Tia:
OK FINE IT CAN EXPLODE ALREADY
Ok the spaceship exploded into a thousand chunks
of feeling and humor and pounding hearts
united in terror

CASE:
AND THEN ACTUALLY EXPLODED FOR REAL LIKE INTO LITTLE PIECES
LIKE SPECIAL EFFECTS IN SCI FI MOVIES
AND EVERYONE DIED CAN WE GO HOME ALREADY

Tia:
no
not yet
here's what really happened
the Earth was a black hole that sucked the life out of everyone
and only a few good remaining souls are left
that would be you and me

CASE:
EXCEPT NOT ME BECAUSE I GOT IMPATIENT WAITING
FOR THE GODDAMN SPACESHIP TO EXPLODE
AND STABBED YOU IN THE FACE

Tia:
you know i dont think this is working out

CASE:
THE END!!!!!!

[ 1339. ]

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:51:32 GMT

vietfag just asked me to go live with him in his apartment so he could talk to me all the time

what in hell

fuck no

fuuuuuuuuck no

then he skipped his class to talk to me being all I WANT TO LEAVE BUT YOU'RE SO INTERESTING THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT and then walked me to mine SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH and he was all REMEMBER THOSE 6 POSSIBILITIES I TOLD YOU ABOUT well ive eliminated all of them besides this one girl and i was like OH GOOD IM NOT ON THE LIST ANY MORE THEN and he was all NO YOU'RE SECOND YOU'RE LIKE HER COMPETITION i wa sliek WHY MEEEEE GO TALK TO HER AND ASK HER OUT NOT ME and he was all YOU'RE LIKE A CHALLENGE*~*~*~*~ I WANT TO GET YOU TO LIKE ME I was like looooooooooooooooool... no

but LOL he was being all "when i first saw you i thought you were a freshman and all lost and innocent that needed protecting, i wanted to be your big brother figure" and i was like so what do you think now and he was all ... THE TOTAL OPPOSITE WTF YOU'RE OLDER AND CRAZY AND KNOW MORE THAN I DO AND WTFFFF YOU JUST ASKED ME TO FIGHT YOU i was like LOL

then he asked me to pretend to be his gay lover :| and was all YEAH IM NOT USUALLY GAY BUT YOU PING ME SOMEHOW ps can you pretend to be my 15 year old freshman boyfriend to freak my friends out

sigh SIGH

why me

TMI BELOW

eXPLODING dinos: also augh this might be tmi but
Chibichibitheone: /immune to tmi
eXPLODING dinos: suddenly and out of nowhere i find this guy in my poetry class hot
eXPLODING dinos: its not anyone i mentioned before
Chibichibitheone: hahaha you mean the BAD petry class?
eXPLODING dinos: yeah
eXPLODING dinos: he's a really mediocre poet but
Chibichibitheone: Is he hot like physically or hot like 'hey his poems don't suck as much as everyone elses'
eXPLODING dinos: today i RANDOMLY LOOKED AT HIM and imagined him pressed up against a wall and begging me to do things to him and SUDDENLY HES SORT OF HOT TO ME
eXPLODING dinos: entirely physically
Chibichibitheone: hahahahahaha
eXPLODING dinos: fuuuuuuuuuuuuu i wanted to shove him into a wall and make him whine
Chibichibitheone: its like SUDDEN DOMINATION
eXPLODING dinos: UGH it sucked i was like AAA MUST NOT GET
eXPLODING dinos: BONER IN CLASS
eXPLODING dinos: ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE TO PRESENT A POEM
Chibichibitheone: Of all the places to suddenly get a boner, Case
eXPLODING dinos: but hnnghgrhrjhfkf the mental image was really hot
eXPLODING dinos: i think maybe its just been too long since ive done anything sexual
Chibichibitheone: Poem: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Hey you in the corner I want to do unmentionable things to you.
Chibichibitheone: Maybe!
eXPLODING dinos: I DID WANT TO DO UNMENTIONABLE THINGS and he WAS in the corner
eXPLODING dinos: I mean I've nevre even really NOTICED him before
eXPLODING dinos: just ALL OF A SUDDEN OH HEY WOW if I backed you into a wall and shoved my hand down your pants and made you BEG THAT WOULD BE REALLY HOT
eXPLODING dinos: and i was like WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN
eXPLODING dinos: i dont even know his NAME
eXPLODING dinos: and ive been in class with him for MONTHS
Chibichibitheone: you brain found out that the sexual receptors in your brain STILL WORK
eXPLODING dinos: WHY SUDDENLY NOW
Chibichibitheone: There's a joke here involving lightswitches and phallic imagery but I can't verbalize it
eXPLODING dinos: eatghekjtnfkjhfkj
eXPLODING dinos: hnnnnnnnn
Chibichibitheone: What can I say, Case. Your brain is weird. Ask him his name next class or something?s.dljghsn
eXPLODING dinos: but I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM
eXPLODING dinos: I JUST WANT TO BACK HIM INTO A WALL AND EAT HIS NECK AND MAKE HIM WHIMPER
eXPLODING dinos: well no, i dont know if i dont LIKE him but he seems boring an dI don't KNOW him
Chibichibitheone: This really is out of the blue for you haha.
eXPLODING dinos: EXACTLY
Chibichibitheone: Well at least it entertained you through Poetry? fffff
eXPLODING dinos: SORT OF

JacksApathy: HAHA my sex drive died again
JacksApathy: I was so happy /rolls
JacksApathy: SO MUCH LESS EFFORT
eXPLODING dinos: LOL
eXPLODING dinos: LOL
eXPLODING dinos: why'd it suddenly die
eXPLODING dinos: WHY DO I SUDDENLY HAVE IT
eXPLODING dinos: THIS IS YOUR FAULT
JacksApathy: HAHAHAHA YOU CAUGHT MINE
eXPLODING dinos: YOU SUCK
JacksApathy: -- that is sort of disturbing to think about now I think about it
eXPLODING dinos: well now that im not in the class any more and not IN THE ROOM WITH HIM its gone back to normal
eXPLODING dinos: and if I think about him now im like meh who's that guy
JacksApathy: MAYBE YOU'RE A VAMPIRE AND HIS ... BLOOD WAS CALLING TO YOU.......
JacksApathy: LIKE EDWARD AND BELLA
JacksApathy: DRIVING YOU MAD........
eXPLODING dinos: but why NOW and not months ago
JacksApathy: UUUH VAMPIRE........ HEAT.............
JacksApathy: pfffffffffffffffffhahahahahahaa
eXPLODING dinos: FFFFFFFFFF i wanted to like
eXPLODING dinos: shove him around and HURT HIM AND BRUISE HIM AND MAKE HIM CRY
JacksApathy: oh you nasty man you;;;;;;;;
eXPLODING dinos: aethagkjethgkaejthkgj
eXPLODING dinos: IT WAS A REALLY WEIRD FEELING
JacksApathy: SUDDEN SEME URGES
eXPLODING dinos: well not even that, like OVER THE TOP DOMINATION urges
eXPLODING dinos: I ACTUALLY WANTED TO HEAR HIM WHIMPER, SPECIFICALLY
eXPLODING dinos: IT WAS FUCKIN WEIRD
JacksApathy: oh

god

'did you want to punish him' AAAAAAAA BDSM FIC FLASHBACKS
JacksApathy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
eXPLODING dinos: yes
eXPLODING dinos: yes I did
JacksApathy: PFFFFFFFF go grab some leather
eXPLODING dinos: i dont have any ):

eXPLODING dinos: but if i think of him NOW its like
eXPLODING dinos: meh ordinary dude no attraction
eXPLODING dinos: its only when I imagine him BEING DUBCON-SEME'D
eXPLODING dinos: HES PROBABLY NOT EVEN GAY
EAT UP YOUR EYE: then i don't know maybe your brain was... recalling... some porn fic or something and then you saw him and URGE TO RAPE RISING i have no idea you are a fascinating creature
EAT UP YOUR EYE: /studies
eXPLODING dinos: i just glanced over and went HEY THAT GUY IF I PUSHED HIM UP AGAINST THE WALL AND STARTED MAKING OUT WITH HIS NECK AND TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND MADE HIM CRY AND BEG AND oh the rest of the class can stay and watch to humiliate him more I BET HE'D MAKE SOME SEXY SOUNDS wait what am i thinking WHAT AM I THINKING

JacksApathy: I just imagined you on some rainy rooftop marvel comic book style being all
JacksApathy: WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEEE
eXPLODING dinos: LOL
eXPLODING dinos: MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAD
JacksApathy: HAHAHAHAHAHA
eXPLODING dinos: NOOOO
eXPLODING dinos: PUBERTY
JacksApathy: I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE CHANGESSSSSSSSS
eXPLODING dinos: CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIN

EAT UP YOUR EYE: in b4 you don't have any thoughts of that kind for other >9000 years after this
eXPLODING dinos: probably wont
EAT UP YOUR EYE: and you'll never manage to explain this one
EAT UP YOUR EYE: FUNTIMES
eXPLODING dinos: PROBABLY NOT

puberty you were supposed to be over go away

[ 1338. ]

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:11:18 GMT

What has surprised you the most about me (if anything) since joining my flist/"friending me"? Was anything completely unexpected or have I always fit the picture of me you have in your head?

Post this in your own journal and see how you have surprised people!

... though I don't think I'm particularly surprising

[ 1337. ]

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:32:08 GMT

random things that happened since yesterday:
- got asked if i was 15 fml
- tripped and scraped my leg and didnt notice until people were all DUDE YOUR LEFT LEG IS COVERED IN BLOOD and then i was all oh (but then I couldn't do anything about it 'cause I had class til 7:30 pm and so i was just walking around with blood and mud all over my jeans from the knee down HAHAHAHA) mlia
- helped some half-delirious girl with flu to the health center who then asked if i was a freshman fml
- drew some hetalia cats and some tf2 cats for the lulz mlia
- UGHHHHH vietfag gave me another "I LIKE MONDAYS BECAUSE I GET TO TALK TO YOU" line fml
- ate a whole foot-long meatball sub (SHUT UP THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME) mlia
- DID NO NANO fml

i am a well balanced individual

(this entry is #1337, mlia)

eta: my dad just walked in randomly and gave me a BROFIST and a hair ruffle mlia
then i noticed he was WEARING MY BOXERS FMLLLLLLLLLLLL

[ 1336. ]

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:26:53 GMT

View Poll: #1479650

[ 1335. ]

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:41:39 GMT

View Poll: #1479438

there is no "penises are NOT aesthetically pleasing" because ok, genitals are gross but this is about which is MORE aesthetically pleasing, as in -8999 is more aesthetically pleasing than -9000

YOU MUST CHOOSE

also this is about aesthetically pleasing, not "attractive" or "sexy" so nobody's sexuality is called into question by answering this question, do not worry

extreme pirates: --WHY WOULD YOU EVER ASK THAT QUESTION
eXPLODING dinos: talking to fly

[ 1334. ]

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:05:05 GMT

dear ftms of the world

ok you're cool with me ok i dont care about what you're doing DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS MORE POWER TO YOU

BUT DEAR FREAKIN GOD GET OVER YOUR INSECURITY

you're a dude ok, ok i get it, YOU ARE A GUY which means when i am talking about women or girls or yknow NON-GUYS

I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU

THERE IS NO REASON TO GET PERSONALLY OFFENDED BECAUSE GUESS WHAT you are not a woman!!!11!!

when people are going OH GOD MANLY WOMEN or OH GOD WOMEN WITH MUSTACHES OR FACIAL HAIR, THEY ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN WITH FACIAL HAIR, YOU ARE A MAN WITH FACIAL HAIR

(I mean seriously, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT ISNT IT, BASIC CONCEPTS HERE)

SO WHY ARE YOU GETTING ALL OFFENDED ABOUT IT

jesus

MAKE UP YOUR FREAKIN MIND

[ 1333. ]

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:54:01 GMT

vociferocity: write and post a super sexy story of sniper totally topping spy - spy has to be SUPER UKE, and it has to actually be sniper, not a spy disguised as sniper

ok

ok so like

so one time sniper who is really MANRY AND BADASS AND DOMINANT or whatever with lots of chest hairs and stuff it's like somebody skinned a black sheep and stapled it to his chest ok, he's that manry, but anyway, sniper decides that he's horny. and i mean that's how badass and manry and toppy he's supposed to be, he doesnt even GET horny he just DECIDES THAT HE IS or he WILL BE and then OH SHIT all your asses better watch out cause o fuck it's SNIPER and he's HORNY that means its like Rapetime with a capital R or whatever goes for R in australia, maybe it's like A or somethin

but anyway so sniper DECIDES that hes horny and being the HUNTER or whatever he is, he goes looking for some delicious... ass I guess, there are no girls or animals around or anything so I guess he's stuck with his third option BUT ANYWAY so SNIPER IS ALL PROWLING AND STALKING or ... ok no that's more spy's thing, maybe he's just sittin there and peeing into a jar or something BUT ANYWAY so along comes Spy for some reason, maybe he's drawn like a moth to sniper's MANRY PHEROMONES OF MANRY MANRINESS which smell like i dont fucking know, something really manry like locker rooms and dicks and koalas

BUT ANYWAY along comes spy and sniper is all OH SHIT TARGET SIGHTED or uuuh... wot wot g'day spy mate or whatever and DIVES OUT OF HIS FREAKIN LIKE 100 FOOT TOWER RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM like you don't even know and somehow he makes a perfect landing on spy and his dick TEARS THROUGH SPY'S PANTS and goes RIGHT IN SPY'S ASS, its like the freakin olympics of assdiving here, and he starts humping spy's ass like there's no tomorrow for him to hump anything else in and he's making all these weird noises all EENF EENF or whatever except wait no that's kinda too girly how about like UNGH UNGH or i dont even freakin know how do you describe sex sounds without making them sound like theyve been constipated for weeks

BUT ANYWAY so sniper is getting all rape on spy and spy is turning all red and starting to cry through his mask all eeengh stop stop and he even says some weird shit in japanese like ya-me-te-i-tai or whatever, that guy knows way too many freakin languages, but he's totally got a boner from it too and he's totally LIKING it cause i mean why would he have a boner if he didnt like it and anyway sniper's still humping him and spy's all whining and crying and this goes on for another like ten minutes or HOURS or something god

and then all of a sudden spy is all AHHHNNNN or something and then all this white marshmallowy stuff EXPLODES THROUGH HIS PANTS and sniper is all AHNNNN too and then all this OTHER white marshmallowy stuff EXPLODES OUT OF SPY'S ASS and spy goes like FLYIN seriously he just FLIES FORWARD FIFTY FEET and lands on his face and hes just frekain OUT COLD, man, with his ass in the air and this GIANT HOLE IN HIS PANTS where sniper's freakin raped him and sniper's looking all smug and satisfied like he's not all covered in come and poop and blood and whatever and just climbs back into his sniper nest to shoot some peeps or pee some mroe or whatever he does

and that's the end

no really

i swear i saw this happen

but anyway the point is sniper and spy are totally fags and that's why you hot chicks should sleep with me instead

- SCOUT

[ 1332. ]

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:53:29 GMT

signatune made me do this

❶ Create a graphic (200 x 200 max size) to represent your personal "candy". It should have your username on it, but otherwise can feature whatever you want. Make it something special since it's self-representative.
➋ Make a post with the subject "trick or treat?". Put your "candy" somewhere in it, and be sure to repost these instructions.
➌ Then, go around other people's LJs and reply to them with either "trick" or "treat". If you reply with "trick", they will give you an LJ dare that you have to perform before taking their candy. If you're too wimpy for that, simply say "treat" and take their candy.
➍ List all your collected candies in your original "trick or treat?" post to show off your collection, being sure not to direct-link!

Do you really want my dares...

[ 1331. ]

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:33:50 GMT

View Poll: #1478605

[ 1330. ]

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:21:16 GMT

names changed to protect the stupid

(no subject)
from [info]anon

I want to join to fandomsecrets.
Actually I'm already reading the community, and I want to join and share some of my secrets.

--- technophile wrote:
Go to the userinfo and click the giant "read this first" link, please

(no subject)
from [info]anon

Sorry, but I can't found it. Sure is there?

[ 1329. ]

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:39 GMT

so apparently greatuncle's car broke down today and he had to get it towed and now they have to pay for the towing and also for a mechanic to fix it, except they don't have the money but that was the only car they had so they need a car and now my mother is trying to get ME to argue with my dad to GIVE THEM HIS CAR

i don't even know any more

[ 1328. ]

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:24:22 GMT

Do you randomly think of your internet friends during your day?

Like do random things remind you of people you only know through LJ or AIM or RP or whatever --

Or are they entirely separate?

Do you ever mention them to your IRL friends? How/in what manner do you talk about them?

----- AWFUL POETRY BEGINS -----

No arrest me police man
Just cuz I'm Mexican
Shoo shoo police van
No wanna ran

BRILLIANT

also by the same guy:

Yes I can
I'm American
No you can't
But I know who can
A Mexican
A messy Messican?
You mean a Mexican't
No a MexiCAN!
I know he can
Cuz he yells, "Yes we can!"

and

"ICE ain't nice
Children cry like mice
Encarcelo Mr. Beans & Rice"

sigh

SIGHHHHHH

oh and then there's shitty greek girl who always WRITES ABOUT GREEK SHIT, this is some historic poem about SOME HISTORIC EVENT SHE DIDNT BOTHER TO TELL US ABOUT but it involves Mussolini somehow (?????)

"In the glossy golden awakening of a new day,
before even a weary eye is open or a parched mouth ajar,
We hear your thndering herd approaching,
See your tanks all polished and pristine, conspicuous rifles smiling along
With your grins so false we already see your hatching lies formulate in your blackest of brains"

CONSPICUOUS RIFLES when is a rifle ever NOT CONSPICUOUS especially WHEN THEY'RE WITH TANKS

"But that's not enough, it never is.
Within slippery seconds of hearing our simple reply,
Your drones of marching zombified soldiers come alive
The terrorizing tanks roar with hnger paints, the rowdy rifles penetrate fresh flesh in echoes of thrill"

why yes, this is the girl who used the word NAPPILY in a serious poem if you were wondering (I still don't know what the fuck nappily was supposed to mean)

"the memories of our pain endured
Will dwell in the new-born blood of our proud descendants
Who walk the free earth, not as slaves, but as carriers of a people who said No
And will keep the spirit of No alive in every breath of every dew-dazzled sunspot"

WHAT DEW DAZZLED SUNSPOTS WHAT aETHjgkategkjtgkjaetkjgaetkjSJTGJKSTGKJGKJGKJFJfhfh

YOU MAKE NO SENSE

NONE

[ 1327. ]

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:46:34 GMT

sgnetkjgehtkg nano so soon AAAAAAA

... i have a midterm in 30 minutes that i havent opened the textbook for and im worried about nano in 4 days

MY PRIORITIES

[ 1326. ]

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:22:32 GMT

so

1) my dad goes drinking at least once a week and blows over $1000 every time on alcohol and hostesses at bars or something.

2) my greataunt/uncle (mom's side)'s shop is utterly bankrupt and they dont know wtf to do, and my uncle (second son of bankrupt ones) is ALSO completely broke as in not-enough-money-
to-eat-broke

3) my mom's been sneaking them money behind my dad's back or something because they keep asking for help, she's just asked for my help in not having my dad find out

4) my dad wouldn't want to help them and it's not because he's an ass, it's because they already OWE US over $100,000 and that's NOT counting the money my mom has been sneaking to them for over a year now that my dad doesn't know about (she just left right now to give my broke uncle $1k or so)

ps) remember that greatuncle that leaves his store and family and goes to convert people in Cambodia on missionary trips while his family is bankrupt? yeah, it's that one

ANYWAY the point is my mom wants me to help her sneak money out by pretending to be using it myself and drawing it from my bank account and pretending to need books or need to buy stuff or something, so she doesn't have to explain all this to my dad because they're ALWAYS ASKING US FOR MONEY and the whole family is sick of it :| i am kind of against this idea, fuck you if you wanna help them don't use MY reputation to do it and LOL I doubt it would go unnoticed if the guy who has bought like... one thing for himself all year that isn't school or cars or gas or food SUDDENLY DECIDES TO BLOW $5000 ON RANDOM SHIT that I can't even uuuuh bring home because uuuuh FOR SOME REASON IDFK the logic is entirely flawed here

but if we don't help them, who will? i told mom to tell dad to quit drinking all the time and just give THAT money to them or something, solves two problems at once, but then she was all HE DOESNT LISTEN TO ME, YOU DO IT, YOU GO FIND HIM AND TELL HIM and I'm like why the hell are you dragging ME into this, I DONT EVEN CARE, and she's all DONT TELL ANYBODY I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS BLAH BLAH and I'm like THEN WHY DID YOU BOTHER aethgkjaethgejkthf ughhh and then she whines about how my dad's drinking is SUCH A WASTE OF MONEY!!!!!11!!! but then is sneaking out about the same amount of money (again, behind his back) and giving it to her relatives so

ughhhh what

fuck family when I'm older